Monday, April 06, 2009

tears

I don't have the adequate words to write this post but I want to write while the memories and moments are fresh. My dear friend Euri is laying in a hospice room in the city awaiting the moment that the Lord takes her home. We went to see her yesterday right after church and Sunday School so that we could kiss her cheek and whisper that we love her once more. Her eyes were closed but after several minutes of speaking softly to her and caressing her hair and reaching for her warm hand tucked under the quilt, she whispered words of love back. Moments later, the nurses appeared to change her position so we excused ourselves from the room and chatted quietly in the hallway with a church friend. We were then allowed back in the room and as I bent over her again, I could see her eyes were open. I hurried around to the other side of the bed and crawled up on the bed that her sister sleeps next to her in. As I lay there, looking at her eyes and touching her face, speaking to her of heaven and memories of our visits and outings, my eyes became blurry with tears. But not wanting to miss seeing her eyes open, I brushed them away and continued to speak with her. Her lips moved and I bent my ear even closer. "I love you", she whispered. And "Yes", she said in response to my words. It was happiness mixed with sorrow and tears for us all. Her eyes moved from side to side, yet I felt like perhaps she wasn't really seeing, but I know she must have been listening. And I was listening very hard and blinking the tears away. I wanted to stay by her side until her eyes closed, but there were others waiting in the hallway and my own family needing to be on our way home. I finally climbed off the bed and went and stood looking out the large window trying to stem the flow of tears that I felt wetting my face. I knew that the others would see the tears in my eyes and that no one would think it strange or awkward, but it wasn't the time to cry for me or Euri or her husband and two children. But soon the tears will flow unchecked as we wait for the message to come that Euri has gone home and we are left behind, for now.
I am crying now as I think of her lying on the bed, warm but not well and lips forming words that once came so easy. I am confident that our God cares for our sorrows and that He cares for Euri like no one else. Jesus' life from the grave brings hope that one day we will be with Euri in a life that will never end. This hope makes all the difference in my tears.

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:24 PM

    Sorry to hear about Euri but rejoice to think of what's ahead for her in Heaven. That's where we're headed...she's just getting there before us.

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  2. Anonymous10:49 PM

    Heather,

    Sorry to hear of your sadness.. I felt something like this at the recent passing of Pauline Wilson. I was at the hospital the night she passed away; and although it was so hard to see her going, there was joy too. Knowing that she was going to be with the Lord meant everything. It just sort of solidifies our faith, doesn't it? It makes the whole Christian life meaningful.
    I hope that the Lord blesses you during this difficult time.
    I miss you,
    Love,
    Julie

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  3. Ah Heather. I am so glad that you got that time with her.

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  4. Thank you girls. I appreciate hearing from you.

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