I can still remember sitting on the edge of our bed, tears streaming down my face as I prayed for God to help me. What follows is what I remember thinking that day and in the days that followed.
If I was forming a baby, my baby, I would make it perfect. No defects, no problems, no diseases, no chromosomal issues. Perfectly whole. So why would God do anything less? Do I love my baby more than God does? No, I'm a sinful mother and God is God. I'm full of failing love and He is full of unfailing love. So how did I reconcile that He was making a baby that most likely was not going to be completely whole and perfect and that He is still full of unfailing love? I had to tell myself that Kate's DS was God's perfect and best plan for our family at this time. That was hard and I think that is what brought the tears at that moment. God's plans and purposes were greater than mine and I needed to stop thinking like me and think more like Him.