Wednesday, September 03, 2014

thoughts on friendship

"But what is friendship? To turn again to Lewis, friendship begins when one man says to another: "What! You too! I thought I was the only one." The only one with this particular vision of poetry or Northern mythology or God or sailing to the far islands. The only one in the town or the college or the office that loves fly fishing or chess or model-ship building or gourmet dining.
... As I put it earlier, friends are not fascinated by each other; they are standing shoulder to shoulder gazing at what absorbs them both. And talking about it endlessly.
...Although friendship begins with, and is sustained by, that mutual 'what-you-too' discovery, the friends, as they together pursue their absorbing interest, find deep brotherly affection growing in them to enhance their friendship." ~ Sheldon Vanauken, Under the Mercy

Interesting ideas to explore about friendships. Are friendships formed only by common interests or can you form a bond of true friendship without having anything that unites your gaze?


  1. Great thoughts about friendship. Sondo our friends always share only the most important interests or can vague interests count? And what about friends you have grown apart? I have high school friends with whom I now have little in common other than old familiarity.

    I read A Severe Mercy but haven't gone further, are you enjoying the book? Thanks for linking up.

  2. Becoming a Christian opened up a whole new world of friendship for me. I have friends now I wouldn't have related to or possibly never had a chance to meet previously.

  3. I agree with Carol; as Christian you oftentimes don't *need* to have anything else in common. Although more in common usually means a deeper friendship.

    I've also found that just being a mom is enough common ground to form a friendship around. MOPS is sort of built on that and can be a great witnessing tool for that reason. :)

  4. I knew you were for me; we share a deep love for all things buttery. Butter and caramel sauce can cover a multitude of deficiencies.

  5. Speaking of caramel sauce .... can you post that recipe soon?


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