November mood

Race morning for my husband and friends down at the ocean front trail.

neighborhood scene

Added a new vintage Ladybird book to my collection.

 

Our vintage U.S. president display for our history readings drawing Flossie into inspection.

Many years ago, Franklin's red cap was removed by a creative child. Finally it was stitched back on after spending years in my sewing basket. He looks very pleased. Kate still watches Franklin all the time and we don't mind at all. His episodes are family lore in our house.

My Mom's good silverware finally being brought into service for our weekly church meals. She would be so be pleased to see them being used by our church family.

My Mom and I walking at a local nature area by their apartment in Pennsylvania on Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving flowers for my Mom.

A visit to a local independent chocolate shop that's been a favorite since my childhood.

Kate and my Mom sitting together with Kate as the caregiver.

Who we are becoming

 For the days when being a homeschooling parent seems like a double-shift without any coffee or treats.

"Teaching is a spiritual exercise. It is not a dispensing machine of facts. Teaching is a deeply emotional and intellectual exercise. You are not only helping the formation of other humans, but you are shaping your own."

~Pastor Brito, A Brief Exhortation to Teachers

That last line could be summed up in one theological word: sanctification

Our homes are the primary place where we are sanctified, but not the only place obviously. Our interactions with the rest of our family members, friends, church family, neighbors, colleagues, etc. are also where we find ourselves laying down our lives for others in order that Christ might be seen and known.

But in teaching and training our children, we are also becoming different people with different ways of thinking and caring. We are going against the current of what our culture thinks is normal and inspirational.

The brief post by Pastor Brito linked above below encourages us to think with gratitude while we are feeling the effects of sanctification. In other words, "count it all joy... when you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance." (James 1:2)

Homelife for children

 Their children are safe from corruption and conscription. 

~Anthony Esolen, Life Under Compulsion: Ten Ways to Destroy the Humanity of Your Child

This one sentence is taken from a longer paragraph on how truly free people live and encapsulated for me the idea of why we educate our children ourselves in our home.

I. By providing for our children's education ourselves, we have sought to give them a wide array of ideas and stories that both inform them and inspire them to think about who God is, what man is like and how the world is designed to provoke discovery and creativity.

II. In order for them to do this, we sought to provide an environment that was rich in knowledge and worship of God, that learned about the people that have come before us, that understood that stories show us what character looks like, and that provided a way to see ourselves as having a role to live in God's world. All of this was provided for in our home and church life which while filled with sinful people, was actively protected from corrupting influence and pressure to conform to a different standard than the one proclaimed in our home.

III. Our home exists to proclaim one standard and only one. Our home exists to cultivate an understanding and love for that one standard. Our home exists to mature a way in which to move forward with confidence and purpose to live according to this one standard. Our home exists to promote joy and happiness in following this one standard despite the hardships of life.

IV. None of this is done perfectly. We know this more than anyone. 

Teaching like a parent

A short article I submitted to our local homeschool newsletter for September's edition.

As homeschooling parents and families, we have witnessed the whole world suddenly interested in discussing the merits and faults of homeschooling. It is remarkable to hear even the casual conversation invoke this idea of learning outside of a classroom. As many of us have resumed some form of our homeschooling routines in recent weeks, we may wonder how we found ourselves doing this task and we may even question our ability as we listen to conversations swirling around us. I hope these words give you confidence to see how parents are very capable teachers.

There really is no secret sauce to teaching your own child anything. You listen to and observe what they can tell you about any topic or skill; then you add to their understanding and listen and observe again.
Repeat with every topic, project and skill under the sun. Teaching is listening well, expanding the conversation or effort and then listening and observing again.. Anyone can do this, whether they assign books to be read or show concepts on a board, paper or with an object.

Adding to someone's understanding is not the most difficult part. Listening and observing require more effort and self-control, but it is a sweet reward to see your child grow in wisdom, knowledge and competence. So be encouraged that as a parent, you are uniquely created to do the work of a teacher as you live and learn with your children.

growing friendships between girls and boys

Recently a friend of mine and mother to my daughter's playmates told me she had allowed her oldest son and daughter to email regularly with other children from families they knew. One of the mothers objected that it wasn't appropriate for her daughter to email with the son but she could with his sister. 

My friend felt bad that she had not checked with each mother before allowing both her son and daughter to exchange emails with their friends. Now duly chastened she asked me if my daughter could email with both her son and daughter since she is friends with them both to which I easily assented. 

Both of us can read these emails at anytime, plus it's normal for girls to want to communicate regularly with chattering updates and some boys enjoy this past time as well, even if done differently. Perhaps the other mother had very good reasons for limiting her daughter to only emailing with other girls; there are certainly some scenarios in which this could be wise for a time. My point here is not the limitation but to think through the wholesome wideness that friendships between girls and boys can enjoy. 

My daughter also exchanges written letters and drawings through the mail with the son of family friends in another part of the country that we do not see frequently. He first wrote a letter to her for a homeschool assignment as part of his language arts curriculum about two years ago. She faithfully writes back and now they look forward to these mailings especially as travel plans have become so uncertain and limited.

I have a few thoughts on these friendships as they wax and wane through the years. 

First, boys and girls may be different in their interests, but they both want their interests to be acknowledged and even explored in conversation and/or activity with others. Dismissal of each other's interests as weird, boring or dumb will not grow a friendship. They need to have sufficient character development that they can listen and respond to the other's interests even if they do not share that interest.

Second, in order to grow the friendship further, there should be shared experiences that help bridge the gap even if they cannot be enjoyed together. Here is a partial list of interests that I think can be discussed and explored to help cultivate the friendships between girls and boys in a wholesome manner. 

* family trips or travel stories

* outside adventures

* inside play or activity 

* pet or animal stories

* projects with making/building/creating

* unusual activity or event in your family

* books, movies, music, television, theater or other media enjoyed and recommended

* questions about each other

* planning for next in-person visit

* discussing kindly mutual family, friends or acquaintances

* favorite or disliked food or drink

* future plans and dreams

* humorous jokes and stories

* etc.

There are plenty of other topics that could be explored including recalling past adventures or moments shared. As parents we sometimes inadvertently help our children cultivate these friendships further by simply showing an interest in the stories and conversations they relate to us. If we ask a pleasant question or make a encouraging comment about what we have heard or read between these friends, we are showing how to be curious and interested in the lives of others in an appropriate way.

Finally, by looking at both familiar and unfamiliar wholesome interests with another child, but especially from the opposite sex, I can see that my daughter's perspective and understanding of the world she shares with others causes her to grow beyond her own self and makes her a better friend and playmate. 

While there certainly may come a time when the kindly and comfortable friendship between girls and boys takes an awkward turn or sudden end, the memories of those childhood days goes a long way in pursuing good friendships for life. 

If we can give our children the opportunity to develop good friendships with each other, the adult friendships that we savor as we grow older can be bolstered by the warmth of those nourishing and nostalgic years as children.

Meeting Charlotte Mason 2019

In late April, our local homeschooling association hosted their annual homeschooling conference and Cori Dean from Maple Tree Publishing had her beautiful vendor table arranged with many Charlotte Mason(CM) homeschooling and parenting resources. Many parents visited her table asking questions and looking for resources. After speaking with Cori Dean at the conference and the girls in our own CM study group, we decided to host another Meeting Charlotte Mason event to help explain the educational ideas to those from our own area. (We first held an event in October of 2017 which I posted about here.)

With some quick planning, we created a registration page and spread the word. Our speaking topics were designed to reach parents and teachers with young children who may be feeling the pressure to start using curriculum and workbooks right away. Our goal was to convey Miss Mason's ideas of childhood and education in a way that provided information and encouragement to these parents and teachers.
We enjoyed a wonderful evening meeting new people and reconnecting with known friends. I posted the two talks I gave Why Charlotte Mason? and Books and Stories for anyone interested. We did not get a group photo, but all of us working together set up and cleaned up in an amazingly short amount of time. I love these girls and I'm so thankful for all of them.
Below are some of the display tables we set up along with food and drink and a used book sale table. We also had a table of books just for parents and moms including books written by Charlotte Mason and about her, but I didn't get to take a photo of that display.